Tuesday, February 2, 2016

FAA Endorses Anti-Drone Missiles

The FAA is taking decisive action against illegal incursions by drones into restricted airspace. Mike P. Hurtya, the new man in charge of the administration, is planning to get tough on wayward drones and their operators.

"Destroy with Extreme Prejudice."

Mr. Hurtya was a USAF ace in the Vietnam war. "Friendly Fire" as he was nicknamed by his squadron, built a reputation for downing a large number of unidentified planes during that conflict. When I interviewed him in his office, he said, "Now that Japan has taken the lead in physically removing offending drones with hunter drones, I believe that we should go a step further. My aim is to equip every airliner in this country with air to air missiles specifically designed to destroy these UAVs with extreme prejudice."

This will mean of course that every Airline Pilot in the country will attend Top Gun training. The FAA will incorporate this into the normal simulator sessions that are a regular routine for all Airline Pilots. The most popular jets will have weapon systems fitted first, followed by others which will include the MD 80 and 90 series.

The missiles are powerful enough to completely vaporize any drone, as there must be no falling debris in built-up areas. There have been a few mishaps with early testing. "One of the missiles got away from us," said Hurtya while laughing, "The Drone Lock-On System caused it to take out a Toys R Us store." The store was completely obliterated, but no one was hurt as it occurred on a Sunday.

One excited Pilot who flies for Alpha Airlines, Jerry Nelson, said, "I'm looking forward to the low level flying that we will need to perform to chase these varmints." Apparently, the firing button will be located next to the Autopilot switch on most airliners.

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